it's christmas

merry christmas everyone, hope you have a wonderfull times with ur family and friends >_<

my life as an elephant

i keep saying i wanted to be part of an exhibition... but i missed the deadline -_-
i keep saying,'oh yes i do have a portfolio.. i'm working on a new one right now.' but i haven't really started actually. i haven't figure out a theme for it. and ideas keep changing every now and then.

linny told me, that i need guidances, i guess she's right. and i need deadlines too! but i'm not a lazy elephant, i'm just lost.

i need to make a calendar and a portfolio... or maybe...

blues clues

had seafood for dinner hmm yum...
and i had a new path, a new clue to find u, ommo. i hope i can see you soon -_-.

i had dinner with the alegrians, or should i say what's left of alegria, we laughed a lot, and eat a lot too of course. what surprises me was that they still encourged keep on going. hmm... -_-

kootoobook i'm in

maybe some of u have seen my kootoobook design...
i think i've become it..well some part of it.. in every aspect of it -_-

wish of the day

i can hear you pray everyday...
you wish for this and that, you wish that today would be easy...
but you forgot to say... i wish i didn't hurt anyone today...

major minor

it feels weird and uncomfortable once you've let go of ur anger...
but it had to come out, and this time i know i'm right.

i have some questions in my head... if something's can only be enjoyed by a group of minority, does that mean the 'thing' is a bad art? my only positive excuse is they just had a different taste..

and i hope the majority would stop picking on me for my taste in any kind of artwork.

it's an adventure

the title does not have anything to do with this blog entry...

i've been playing this song called 'robot sings...' by the adventure kids, it kinda make you want to do the robotnic dance ahahaha >_<
i'm actually not feeling very well this week, but the strange thing about it is.. my throat only feels sore by daylight, in the morning till afternoon-ish. and it got better after sunset.. isn't that weird?

an elephant update

i just want to say this one more time, ' either dunia itu sempit atau kita memang berjodoh?' ahahaha.. >_<

worklife getting better, but i still longed for a more dreamy brief...
and i chat with d this morning .. she brought good news, although i couldn't really claim it right now but i'm quite happy that my design got appreciated somehow >_<

i am an award winning elephant ....

we

'either dunia itu sempit ato kt emang berjodoh?'

echoes of the modern life...

i got a phone call from my cousin, she still in 4th grade and she asked me some ideas for her assignments... and it was to draw an ANTI DRUGS poster... she still in 4th grades and her school held an ANTI DRUGS poster competition for 4th, 5th and 6th graders. wow! dunia bergerak dng sangat cepat!!

roads

i've chat with Ton, appearently we are in the same sit (situation.red)
and also apearently we are young and ambitious.. well not really, maybe.. curios is the right word for it, and just entering the world of working environment and also just knowing the thing called Professionalism, being a professional Designers...
yes us, the two students who always seems to have something to play with during class -_-

ough Ommo, there's so many choices to make, and since we last talk, another road had suddenly apeared in my juction... what should i do?

i love u, ommo

i thought i have chosen my path, but i haven't really ...
i've chose a path only to find out that my passion is on the other side ...
so now i'm back in this crossroad, i've asked a couple of people but they can't help me either,
but one was wise enough to tell me that this junction was mine, it has my name on it...
and another one have a vague guess on where you are, ommo...
i want to be there with you, ommo, but the road is long and fogy and it needs a 4wd, and i don't have one...
but i'll get there, my journey may took longer than expected but i'll be there with you, ommo... it's a promise -_-

giacommo

i don't know how to begin this tale... hmm maybe it is not supposed to be told after all -_-
that we have build an empire, giacommo...
that we are part of something big...

crosswords puzzle

gue merasa sedang berada dipersimpangan jalan nih, rasanya membingungkan sekali harus ke kiri apa kanan apa lurus terus. i can't see what on the other side pula. hmm... -_-

you are an elephant

hula girl

we were still talking about friday's event yesterday at lunch... well i didn't contribute much, i was just listening very carefully... then

l : val, muka loe kok lebih pucet dari s?
v : soalnya kmaren itu dia ngomong ke gue .... (cencored)
a : hey anak muda, ngapain loe musingin hal kayak gitu, loe itu harusnya pusing kalo di bawah (hero) nggak ada es hula hula
v : oh iya anda benar jg bpk tua...

es hula hula penghilang segala duka lara >_<

it's a wake up call

kecewa... iya, menyerah.. tidak, gue nyerah, untuk hal yg satu ini tidak akan!!!

ps1. i wish rubber snake toys was never invented
ps2. thank you miss r you've lighten my day, and i'm sorry too -_-

charm bracelet

walaupun saat ini gue sedang cape bgt, ngantuks berats akibat krg tidur... tapi gue sebenarnya gue bahagia, i've been lucky.
kerja keras gue akhirnya mendapat pengakuan dari client, walaupun karya gue itu blom tentu akan dipublish krn masih hrs bersaing dng senior2 gue dan juga dng designer2 dr agency sebelah. tapi gpp setidaknya ibu client itu mengerti pesan gue >_<

2007

selama beberapa hari belakangan ini gue menggira skg th 2007 -_-

the mimi show?

di tengah... kegelisahan dan kekesalan gue krn illus yg sdh 2x 'unexpectedly quit' gue mendengar...

'but life isn't supposed to be easy..'

gue denger itu dari radio, good one mrs. radio announcer!

blame it on folder

have you heard a song called 'foder' by plastic operator?
entah knp lagu ini bisa membuat gue spt jatuh cinta, padahal gue lg ga naksir siapa2 -_-
aneh...

tadi malem gue mimpi...
seseorg yg gue kenal, ngapelin gue... namun yg kulakukan hanyalah tertidur di sofa -_-

august in jakarta

bulan agustus di jakarta itu sangat panas sekali.. sangat extrim sampai mata gue terasa perih, memandangin jendela kantor. (station gue di kantor pas menghadap jendela. jadi mau nggak mau memang hrs memandangi jendela.red)

so.. solusi yg pas selain berdoa memohon hujan, gue menutup tirai jendela (biasanya gue paling anti, krn gue org yg tdk bisa hidup tanpa melihat pemandangan dr jendela.red), dan mengganti wallpaper desktop gue huhuhu... oh iya supaya acara hujan buatan lebih seru gue jg menyiapkan teh hangat satu teapot penuh disamping compie gue huhuhuhuhu >_<

salad head

rencananya gambar ini akan gue sulam di t-shirt, berhub gue nggak tau cara memakai mesin jahit, maka i'm gonna do it manually...

lagi2 menunggu giliran ngeprint di kantor... T_T

weekend ini.. keep staring at the window wishing i'm somewhere else... doing something else... gue butuh kebebasan gue kembali... pingin bebas sebebas2nya!!!!

phoenix

it's an old song, but i feel that i liked it much better now, well... i can relate to part of it now -_-


If I Ever Feel Better - Phoenix

They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
It's like a bad day that never ends
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There are things in my life that I can't control

They say love ain't nothing but a sore
I don't even know what love is
Too many tears have had to fall
Don't you know I'm so tired of it all
I have known terror dizzy spells
Finding out the secrets words won't tell
Whatever it is it can't be named

There's a part of my world that' s fading away
You know I don't want to be clever
To be brilliant or superior
True like ice, true like fire
Now I know that a breeze can blow me away
Now I know there's much more dignity
In defeat than in the brightest victory
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

Hang on to the good days
I can lean on my friends
They help me going through hard times
But I'm feeding the enemy
I'm in league with the foe
Blame me for what's happening
I can't try, I can't try, I can't try...

No one knows the hard times I went through
If happiness came I miss the call
The stormy days ain't over
I've tried and lost know I think that I pay the cost
Now I've watched all my castles fall
They were made of dust, after al
Someday all this mess will make me laugh
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

It's like somebody took my place
I ain't even playing my own game
The rules have changed well I didn't know
There are things in my life I can't control
I feel the chaos around me
A thing I don't try to deny
I'd better learn to accept that
There's a part of my life that will go away

Dark is the night, cold is the ground
In the circular solitude of my heart
As one who strives a hill to climb
I am sure I'll come through I don't know how
They say an end can be a start
Feels like I've been buried yet I'm still alive
I'm losing my balance on the tight rope
Tell me please, tell me please, tell me please...

If I ever feel better
Remind me to spend some good time with you
You can give me your number
When it's all over I'll let you know

fiddle me this fiddle me that...

rasanya ingin melarikan diri ya...

middle point

i've just read one of my friend's fs blog, she said she wanted to go home, and didn't want to leave in bne anymore. i've been there once, di situasi yg sama, semester terakhir, lagi magang dan kuliah, mesti mikirin konsep buat end of year portfolio (yg bisa dikatakan jg penentu masa depan gue.red). akhirnya gue mutusin balik ke jkt... tapi skg... gue kangen bgt sama bne, khususnya tempat diatas itu -_-

fumble crumble

mau tau tdk berapa lama daku menunggu utk antre printer? skg sdh hampir 2 jam -_-
printer kantor bapuks krg ajar!!! skg gue terjabak di kantor dan hanya bisa memandangi kilat2 dari jendela kantor.

sejujurnya hari2 gue masih tetap sendu semenjak minggu, masih blom pulih sampai kmaren gue menemukan kata2 ini pas nonton toky drift, '... life is short, you make choices and never look back...'
mungkin itu yg seharusnya gue lakukan skg, DON'T LOOK BACK! it's hard though, not looking back on the choices i've made... krn keberadaan gue sampai detik ini kalau ditelusuri lagi memang krn keputusan yg gue buat berdasarkan rasa penasaran 7 th yg lalu dan dng impian akan masa dpn yg cerah...

impian itu memang sedikit demi sedikit sedang gue jalanin, namun gue lupa bahwa semua itu ada efek sampingnya... gue lupa memperhitungkan hal yg satu itu. dan mungkin yg skg gue alami adl shockyness (i'm sure there's a better word for that, but i don't know what that is.red)

tapi yah.. tapi kata2 menyakitkan yg dialamatkan kpd gue hr minggu itu bukannya tak beralasan jg sih... kata2 itu keluar berdasarkan rasa panik akan keberadaan diri gue sendiri, or should i say keselamatan gue. dan berhub gue memang selalu cekcok dng beliau... gue nggak bisa menerima kata2 itu.

outburst

it was not a fun weekend, hampir terjebak ditengah kerumunan demonstran -_-
but that was not the worst part ... -_- and as much as i want to wrote it down what really happened on last sunday ... i can't, i'm too emotional right now, i don't wanna wrote something i'll regret later...

ldw

lee dong wook >_<
aha -_- gue merasa seperti anak abg bgt !!! jadi maloe -_-
tapi emang cakep sih gmn donks...

hmm well, ngomongin org itu emang enak ya.. guilty pleasure hmm -_-. kmaren akhirnya gue tau knp tokoh ini krg disukai oleh rekan2nya, menurut gue alasan mereka cukup masuk akal jg.. but on the other hand gue jg bisa melihat sebagian dari diri gue dlm tokoh ini... ahaha in other word kebiasaan buruk kt sama aha -_-
well, gue rasa memang sdh saatnya utk berubah, lucu ya... gue itu selalu berdoa sebelum gue pergi dari rmh agar Tuhan membimbing gue selalu, agar gue nggak nyakitin perasaan org lain agar gue tdk membuat keributan... dan mungkin hal2 seperti ini merupakan jawaban dari Tuhan. karena terus terang ajah yg dilakukan oleh tokoh ini itu hal2 minor dan kecil tapi utk org lain merupakan hal yg sgt annoying. -_-

hari ini puas melihat2 ldw di net...

high and dry

hehehe gue baru ngerampok itunesnya lina, dan gue menemukan lagu high and dry nya radiohead versi jamie cullum ahahaha syenang >_< bagus entah knp dia nggak masukin lagu ini ke album cacthing talesnya?

masih kebayang2 kata2nya d nih... '... susah skg disini (bne) nggak ada eloe...'
ah.. hmm.. -_- sejujurnya gue jg merasakan demikian di jkt.

lazy saturday afternoon

padahal gue sudah berjanji tidak akan tergoda untuk membeli tas luis... tapi sabtu kemaren hati gue goyah jg dan.. yah begitulah akhrinya gue punya tas luis kotak2 ahahaha... both my sis bought it too. aha -_-



menurut kalian ini gambar apa?

LOL -_-

it was friday.. we were preparing stuff for monday presentation..
n : ewok, kok kamu lucu bgt...
v : sebenarnya ya.. gue itu bercita2 menjadi seorg wanita yg angun lho...

dan nggak lama setelah itu yg bisa ku dengar hanya gelegar tawa andi, nat, pat dan linny... -_-
padahal kali ini gue mengungkapkan keinginan dari hati gue yg paling dalam... -_-

wr..

tampaknya setiap langkah yg gue ambil salah akhir2 ini, termasuk jg feeling gue ttg tempat curhat gue. ternyata dia bukan org yg tempat utk daku berkeluh kesah -_-...

no seriously do you got milk?

i got another brief for a milk packaging... altough this time the client gives more freedom, i'm stuck. it feels like i'm running out of 'designy' brain juice... got lot of examples from books and images from the net, they all look fab, but anyhu i still have no idea what so ever, on what, or how mine would look like. on the other hand...

my md/cd has been asking me about this project with a 'concerned/panicking' mimik on her face. but i keep saying 'i'm still doodleling'. she replied, '..(i couldn't remembered clearly)...' sounds like she's expecting more of me.

wish me luck ok -_- hope i will come out with something dashing/ smashing/ fab b4 friday, or i'm a dead meat!!!

got milk?

hmm.. have you ever been in a situation or should i say you are in trouble -big one- and you can only think of a name, and you wanted so bad to call this person, not necessarily hoping that he/she can help you, but you just thought that person could at least would listen to you.

well.. i'm in that situation right now... i dunno if i should call you, but your name keeps hanging around in my head for these past few days. but on the other hand i dunno if i should tell you about the probs i've been having... maybe it's my ego.. i don't want you to know that i makes mistakes, and i'm not as perfect as you thought i was...

sulur sulur waktu

sometimes i wonder if i could make times run slower... or perhaps i could go back in time and see the moment when i started to become someone else. oh well...

sepiiii...

gue sedang berusaha utk selalu berpikir positif, tapi akhirnya hari ini nggak tahan jg... gue hrs melepaskan rasa kekesalan gue. maaf ya, maaf bgt.

lalu ada kabar apa lagi ya? oh iya ada sms nyasar yg selalu berakhiran dng 'blz' ya dsr gue jg krg kerjaan akhirnya gue bales lah sms itu... tapi lama2 jd annoying jg. siapa pun jg dirimu maaf ya.
lalu ... hmm... kerja gue sedang tidak bagus, slow dan sering stuck. ada sst yg menghalangi gue untuk menuangkan ide yg ada di otak gue ke dalam layar komputer. oleh sebab itu gue mendapat teguran dari md/cd. tapi dilain pihak dia gue jg mendapat masukan dari beliau (terima kasih ibunya.red). lalu sehubungan dng hal itu, senior2 ku berkata 'sebenarnya loe itu punya potensi, loe udah punya karakter sendiri...' (not the exact words sih, tapi kira2 intinya begitu.red) terus terang gue kaget. benarkah potensi gue sedasyat itu? hmm... baiklah gue akan terus berusaha!!!

v : tebak gue ada dimana sekarang
d : di kantor kah
v : ya! seratus!!!

design has no boundary...
and i should always have a happy thoughts...

i want that dinosaurs candy

been working late last week. crazy deadlines plus i missed interpret the brief, and been running on a slow mode.

hmm.. have i told you about my cousin's son? yep i gotta baby nephew... kadang sepupuku itu suka menitipkan dia ke rumah seperti halnya kemarin. well, one leads to another... while my mom was holding my nephew she asked the thing i've been avoiding -the boyfriend issue-... hmm i really don't wanna think about it...

anxiety disorder

well, someone has offered me a side job >_< hooray!!!! i tell you all about it after i got the brief.

weekend ini sangat melelahkan, walaupun gue udah tidur 1/2 hari sabtu, tp sabtu malam terpaksa tidak tidur, krn ade' gue tdk bisa tidur, jadi terpaksa gue nemenin... dan terpaksa gue membeberkan smua kisah cinta gue (berhub kt nggak ada bahan pembicaraan lain). minggu pagi bgn jam 6 kurang -ke greja-pulang, sarapan-ke bogor, nenggok sodara yg baru saja melahirkan-lunch di puncak-ke bandung, jemput ade gue yg satu lagi-pulang ke jakarta...

senin pagi, mendung, di kantor sepi sekali... -_-
daftar project s/d tgl 9 june lumayan banyak (terus terang gue senang dan sedih di saat yg bersamaan -_-)

playlist ipod gue:
1. anja garbarek - the last trick
2. beth orton - concieved
3. corinne bailey rae - put your records on

saatnya bekerja...

setelah sekian lama akhirnya i can chat with soleh -_- hmm... pembicaraan kita tidak penting sih.. tapi inilah yg terjadi at the end of our conversation:
v : 'kok gue sekarang jadi freak begini ya leh?'
s : 'udah dari dulu kok !'
v : -_-!

catatan rahasia no.102

ramalan bintang bulan ini bersinar cerah buat gue... namun, rasanya nggak mungkin ajah gitu. impossible. ingin berharap... sangat ingin berharap ramalan itu menjadi kenyataan.

rasanya seneng jg sih, setelah seminggu ini yg gue dapat hanya kabar buruk, running out of ideas, tenggorokan bengkak dan kehilangan semangat untuk doing the ewok dance -_-

ya sud sekian duls, tugas gue bertumpuk...

working on a sat morning

harusnya gue bekerja.. tapi gue chat ama wiki dan entah kenapa gue menanggis...
i guess i miss her too much...

it feels like i'm flying solo...

catatan rahasia #101

sebenarnya gue pingin punya sedan VW, tapi apa daya jakarta hujan terus menerus...

lets do the ewok dance

one rainy day on the 6th floor of an office building...
i sat down on my desk, i put my jumper on as well as the hood on my jumper, the deadline was tomorrow... and in the mist of panic rush, my body moved (unconciously) to the beat of earth wind and fire - dancing in september...
then a voice shout... 'hahaha eh loe kalo diliat dari belakang kayak EWOK deh ahahaha LOL!', and since that i am ewok.. -_-

the devil wears prada

things get out of hands this week, it probably the saddes week and most uncomfortable week i had so far, i've betrayed a friend and been betrayed by a friend too.

feels like crying but no one wants to lend a shoulder...
things a very confusing for me right now, i've lost my way, again...

goodbye goodnight

yah gue gagal nonton goodnight electric -_-
sebenarnya gue blom pulih dari kekecewaan gue ttg jamie cullumn yg cuman mampir ke singapore dan tidak ke jakarta sekalian, dan gue berharap goodnight electric bisa menghibur gue, tapi yah.. -_-

the pack!

i took the most drowsy flu pills this morning, so just guess away how am i doing in the office...-_-
plus sandra's words seems to be a bad news for me -_-

well, yesterday, the day b4 the 'long' weekend, i've made a pack with 'd' that we should never forget each other bahkan disaat kita sudah tidak 'sendiri' lagi >_<.. i made her promise me that because i got a hint that ahahahaha.. i shouldn't mention it, i might jinxed her. well, anyhu i've lost friends b4 just because they've got bf/gf... and i don't want that to happened again, i don't want to feel that sudden loneliness again... at least we can keep chatting or sms or e-mails ...

oh that reminds me the pack that i've made with wiki, that we should send each other wedding invitations ahahaha >_<

back to sandra's words, she didn't mean no harm, just spitting out office facts, and it sounded like a bad news for me... gosh, life's really are tough! okure, better get to work...

i'm your cupu nerd ex girlfriend

well, i got nothing to do, so i guess another update...

not long after my conversation with 'd', i had this dream that i met someone in the past, who used to be very closed to me..
well, i just said, ...' hi, udah lama nggak ketemu ya' and he didn't said anything, he just held my hand and we're off somewhere...

and the truth is dunno why and for some reason 'dia' suka muncul dipikiran gue akhir2 ini... maybe i just wanted to know how's he been doing, it's been years... (at this point gue menyesal dulu gue galak bgt, maafkan saya ya...)

cupu nerd

back in jakarta, hmm...

well, someone has asked me this ?s
d: ... val, loe kapan nih?
v: ntar dulu deh satu2, gue baru dapet kerja...
d: ah eloe, dari dulu jawabannya itu terus!!!

well, after i think about it she's right, there's always something in my mind hehehehe... thanks 4 ur concern 'd', to be honest i've thought about it, just dunno where to start or how even...

berita berikut ini adalah sebuah penegasan...
'i'm here .. i'm always here, you just have to know how to find me...'

untuk temen baikku yg jauh disana...

surealist

ternyata susah2 gampang ngerjain sst yg berbau surealist -_- and i feel like i'm still in uni, doing research for this project. well... that was b4 i learned that the competitor's also using surealist.. so... i guess abandon ship...

3 hari yg lalu gue nggak bisa tidur, 2 hari yg lalu gue tidur pules bgt, tadi malam gue kembali tidak bisa... yg benar2 tidak bisa tidur (plus pinggang gue sakit bgt, gue rasa-_-... gue berumur 22th dan gue menderita insomnia, dan sakit pinggang, plus sedikit krisis identitas... gwt hal ini tak boleh dibiarkan berlarut-larut.

hmm... berita selanjutnya... gue baru kmaren kerja nonstop dng konsentrasi tinggi (hebat!!! val!) alhasil, leher jg ikut sakit, tapi gue senang >_< malemnya makan di sushi tei krn baru ada yg dpt promotion >_<

hmm satu lagi, berhub gue alegrian paling muda dan tampaknya satu2nya yg tdk punya love life... munculah pertanyaan ini---> "emang tipe co loe yg kayak apa sih?"
hmm... yg seperti apa ya? terus terang gue jg bingung -_- yg jelas lebih tinggi, lebih tua 3-5th, lebih item dikit, lebih pinter dari gue, dan orgnya tegas! terlalu berlebihan nggak sih? mungkin pertanyaan ini jg yg bikin gue nggak bisa tidur semalem, gue sendiri nggak jelas maunya apa?

utter madnes

lack of sleep.. not because i have to work late, but simply because i couldn't sleep -_- (it's been 3 days.red)

i also feel that lately there's no space to be valcory... i am someone else, someone who easily get caried away. which is not good...

'we need to do something...,' naz said.. it seems that she's the only one who could understand what i'm feeling right now.

akhir2 ini gue merasa, masukan gue kurang dewasa. gue merasa kurang dewasa dlm menyikapi sst, kurang dewasa dlm memberikan komentar dll deh...
emang sih gue akui bahwa berat untuk gue menghilangkan rasa sakit hati, jika gue merasa diperlakukan tidak adil, dan sebenarnya karena gue itu orgnya merasa lebih lega jika hal2 itu gue utarakan secara terbuka, gue merasa banyak org yg salah paham, bahkan kadang nggak ngerti dan takut sama gue, jadinya masalah itu dibiarkan begitu saja, dan mereka mengalihkan topik.
sebenarnya juga gue tau kalo nggak smua hal bisa gue utarakan apa adanya. memang ada hal2 yg sebaiknya gue lupakan saja. tapi kalau gue melakukan itu sikap gue ke org itu tdk akan sama... gue akan selalu jaga jarak, sampai suatu hari nanti gue mengerti mengapa dia melakukan hal itu atau mengapa dia memperlakukan gue seperti itu...
gue harap waktu nya tidak lama, karena terus terang kesabaran gue sudah mulai menipis... dan gue harap penjelasan itu datang segera sebelum gue kehilangan rasa 'kepercayaan' gue sepenuhnya...

gue akan kembali ke bne...

ntah kenapa dari hari senin kmaren gue pingin banget kembali menetap di bne, walaupun dalam hati gue tau, tidak ada apa2 untuk gue disana. tidak ada apa2 buat gue di bne, hanya ada kebebasan dan kesendirian.

di edo

usually gue nggak suka lagu indo kalo gue tau lagunya mirip sama lagu luar. tapi... utk kasus sandy-sabtu minggu ini lain, gue tau lagu itu 'jack johnson' bgt, dan gue tetep suka >_< ahahaha..

it's a quite birthday yesterday, but i like it. i enjoyed every second of it. yesterday was exciting, happy, a bit nervous and of course i got sudden rush of panick. hmm... and also... for a spilt seconds i missed bne -_-

i dunno what else am going to say... except for thank you guys for making my day...

wind chime

well, ttg kasus sobat gue itu.. ternyata sudah merupakan fenomena alam. jadi gue harap memakluminya...

discovery channel

hari ini pake bahasa saja ya, lagi cape...
sebenarnya kmaren itu gue seneng karena gue menemukan bahwa masih ada yg berusaha keep in touch ahahaha >_<,

sebenarnya gue jg merasa bersalah karena selama ini gue tidak melihat bahwa beberapa orang telah berusaha menjadi teman yang tulus dan setia menemani gue. sedangkan gue nampaknya kurang memperhatikan mereka. maafkan saya ya, teman2. gue jg sedih karena sebenarnya gue juga merasa bahwa salah satu dari sobatku hanya peduli pada pujaan haitnya saja, dan nampak gue hanya ada di otaknya dikala dia sedang jauh dari doinya dan itu membuatku sedih.

anyhu gtg untuk membalas surat2 penggemar

not much

well, not much i can tell you right now.. hmm.. the latest news is that i got a job >_< yeah ahahahahaha finally. what drives me mad is that, on my 1st day of work i got a call from another agency, saying that i got to be in their office by 2morrow 4 an interview ... hmm -_- (knp disaat tdk dibutuhkan lagi barulah telponku berdering.red)

all i can say is that all of my projects turn out to be disaster! (honestly i feel like i'm gonna get fired in the next month or two.red). entah karena panik dng lingkungan baru ato emang otak gue masih dormant, but i loose my touch -_-...

lately i've realise that it's really easy to loose something over a silly things. really really stupid. if you thing about it...

freak school

Well then again I’m here sitting, staring, writing, fixing, singing, whilst trying, trying to find what I know it’s there, somewhere hidden. I just know that it’s there somewhere. Something I have always wish I had. I’ve seen it before, I’m so sure of it. It would probably there in front of me just lying still, dormant (my sister like to called it hibernate, I’m not sure what does it mean though.red). I know it is there somewhere, I just feel it.. no… I just found it a moment a go, but now… I’ve lost it again. Sometimes it’s there I can see it and it’s available for me to used it, but most of the time, I can’t find it anywhere.

i hate grapes

yup there you go, i hate grapes.

maybe i need to redefine myself, my goals...
maybe...

maybe i'm not supposed to be a graphic artist, maybe ...

the story of the globe trekker

hmm.. i've just visited my eye doctor (i'm sure there's a name for it but i couldn't remember.red) i quite like her, she's chill, very nice, sangat tenang. as if my porblem were not a big deal.

haven't been doing a lot lately, to be honest i still don't know what to do? nothing is fun anymore. everything i do just add more confusion in my brain. oh well...

the stary eyes

i'm not even sure if spelled that correctly.. haha
right now i'm addicted to korean tv series, so far i can only say helo, ok, i understand, and mother, ahahahaha and i'm also addicted to jamie cullumn-photograph (it's a song title.red)

for the last 15 minutes i've been staring at this job advert, haih... it seems that i don't have the courage to reply -_-.
-o- and it's also hard to say good bye to old and bad habbit isn't it? but i gotta try harder! AZA AZA FIGHTING!!! (ahahaha one of the lead female characters of the korean series like to say that >_<).
oh yes, my mobile phone has finally broken after 2 years -_-, so for these couple of days i had no phone -_-. so sad

photograph

when i look back on my ordinary, ordinary life
i see so much magic though i missed it at the time...
photograph - jamie cullum

sitting still in my home pc and think, whilst my eyes still looking for that magical words 'GRAPHIC DESIGNER NEEDED' which now made it seems impossible to be found.
in my mind goes: i've become the person i hate the most. i've said something snobby yesterday, i've seen the look on their face, and now i felt guilty. why? why? why did i said what i've said!!! why can i be just that nice person, why can just keep my opinion for myself. i guess it's time to make a new year resolution!!
1. always keep those sarcastic opinion to myself
2. always smile
3. always keeps a happy thoughts!
4. learn to drive properly!

i missed having the freedom to wonder off on my own!

me 1st and the gimmies gimmies part 2

hmm... jakarta, home sweet home...

it's only been 3 weeks, but i missed bne already. i missed my freedom actually. i got sick just a week after i arrive in jkt. i was sick in new year's eve -_-.
i went on a holiday with my family just after christmas, it was supposed to be fun, but cos i'm sick... i can't really enjoyed it. but although i'm sick i'm still a shopaholic -_-.

and now for a v update
well, i'm getting better still a bit a-s, haven't got a job. i'm in bandung right now, at my sis' place. i got nothing to do in jakarta, so i just followed her here. dunno why ppl have been looking at me as though i'm an allien or some kind, or maybe that's just my feeling. and because of that, i've been throwing some harsh comments lately, my youngest sister kinda forced me shut my mouth -_-
been having trouble with indo ppl who seems to have problem with the idea of queing! i didn't set up new year's resolution this year.