i don't know how to begin this blog... i've just receive a quite shocking news... i think i'm about to loose a friend...
i didn't realize the signs. some ppl said she is not herself anymore, but since i rarely met her i refuses to believe what other ppl had said bout her, cos she's such a dear friend to me. all this time i thought her face didn't look 'morning fresh' cos the result of a bad hair day, or bad hair cut, but... i was wrong and those ppl were right about her, she not herself, she's change..in a bad way. all this time she kept it a secret from me because she knew i would somehow oppossed. this is one of the time when i regret having a strong personality, sometimes it can drive ppl away from me. i do wanna help her, but i just don't how? and i just don't know how to gain her trust?
i don't know why as i get older it's getting harder for me to find a friend, true friendship that is? sometimes i wonder...am i a bad person? or am i just 'terlalu kaku'?
oh yeah, another bad news just came from home the first one is that my auntie suffers from breast cancer (stadium 3) and my garderner/driver/ security just got an motorcycle accident (my mom said nothing serious just a couple of bruises). this is going to be a tough semester for me, i just hope i can manage.
28.3.05
me and my little friend
hi there, i feel awful today, cos i had to lied to the whole bunch of ppl. plus i'm worried about my bank account, what if.. someone who had my wallet find out how to break the code and....ough..i couldn't and i don't wanna think about it..
the thougt of it has been buzzing around all day in my head, so i thought a nice day in the pool could chill it off... and boy, it really chill it off -literaly-... the water was freezing, should've known better not to go for a swim in this kind of weather (it's autumn in bne.red). but after a few strokes i didn't really mind the water temp and i might have another go b4 semester break's over.
well anyway, i've finally can chat with W, we haven't seen each other for centuries... and that's really rewarding, as if i forgot i had a probs....
the thougt of it has been buzzing around all day in my head, so i thought a nice day in the pool could chill it off... and boy, it really chill it off -literaly-... the water was freezing, should've known better not to go for a swim in this kind of weather (it's autumn in bne.red). but after a few strokes i didn't really mind the water temp and i might have another go b4 semester break's over.
well anyway, i've finally can chat with W, we haven't seen each other for centuries... and that's really rewarding, as if i forgot i had a probs....
27.3.05
the easter bunny
happy easter everyone >_<
i'm still upset because i lost my wallet, but this morning my mom reminded me that's it's just material, and i should be more gratefull that i am alive and well.
well, anyway i'm still gloomy because of other reason. gue still expecting him yg sudah jelas tidak akan menjadi 'deket' karena dia nun jauh di sana. oh well...
i'm still upset because i lost my wallet, but this morning my mom reminded me that's it's just material, and i should be more gratefull that i am alive and well.
well, anyway i'm still gloomy because of other reason. gue still expecting him yg sudah jelas tidak akan menjadi 'deket' karena dia nun jauh di sana. oh well...
23.3.05
the song of the year...
helo there, something awful just happened huhuhu... i've lost my wallet. yep, i almost lost my brand new sunnies a few weeks ago, now i lost my wallet for real !!! well, i guess i just had to let it go... buang sial, orang jawa bilang. syedich, shock, gue masih lemes. i'm getting more and more careless lately.
but despite the awful tradegy, i found the perfect song of the year for me (altough this song's been released last year.red). it's called I BELIEVE by Yolanda Adams and it goes like this:
They said you wouldn't make it so far a a
And ever since they've said it its been hard
But never mind that night'cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe
Your fools are justes singing, your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your moind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your kiss and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside against all the pain
It just start to believe
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe
Never mind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up, i'll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve on my knees
I will always believe
yep i do believe that someday, i would go places, esp new orleans, Brazill and Italy, be a working mom that still have time for my kids (athena predict that i got 4 kids, boy-girl-girl-boy.red). i wished that in search for the future husband just as easy as matching athena's prediction huhuhuhuhu...
and about the places, i wanted to go to new orleans because of the Jazzy things that's been going on over there, the reason for brazill is just that i love the lighthouse family song-lost in space, and they're shooting their vclip in Rio, and i've been wanting to go there ever since, and i wanted to go to italy since the day i could remember 'mbah putri' (my father's mother.red). my dad used to lived there when he was a child. well, i guess since i've never seen 'mbah putri' (she passed away just 1 month b4 i was born.red) i've always wanted to know what she's like, what she used to do, and go to places she's been. i miss her. okay i better stop b4 it gets too emotional huhuhuhu.... c ya
but despite the awful tradegy, i found the perfect song of the year for me (altough this song's been released last year.red). it's called I BELIEVE by Yolanda Adams and it goes like this:
They said you wouldn't make it so far a a
And ever since they've said it its been hard
But never mind that night'cha had to cry
Cause you had never let it go inside
You worked real hard and you know exactly what you want and need so believe
And you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe
Your fools are justes singing, your soul aha
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your moind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine leave all of your kiss and stress behind and
Just let it go
Let the music go inside against all the pain
It just start to believe
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i know my dreams are real
I believe i can
I believe i will
I believe i hold it soon man
That is what i do believe
Never mind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up, i'll keep it up
Looking to the sky
I will achieve on my knees
I will always believe
yep i do believe that someday, i would go places, esp new orleans, Brazill and Italy, be a working mom that still have time for my kids (athena predict that i got 4 kids, boy-girl-girl-boy.red). i wished that in search for the future husband just as easy as matching athena's prediction huhuhuhuhu...
and about the places, i wanted to go to new orleans because of the Jazzy things that's been going on over there, the reason for brazill is just that i love the lighthouse family song-lost in space, and they're shooting their vclip in Rio, and i've been wanting to go there ever since, and i wanted to go to italy since the day i could remember 'mbah putri' (my father's mother.red). my dad used to lived there when he was a child. well, i guess since i've never seen 'mbah putri' (she passed away just 1 month b4 i was born.red) i've always wanted to know what she's like, what she used to do, and go to places she's been. i miss her. okay i better stop b4 it gets too emotional huhuhuhu.... c ya
15.3.05
the Valcor Enterprise
hello there, masih dalam rangka b-day week nih... walaupun sudah lewat, cuman gue masih seneng ajah.. anyway gue cuman mau cerita soal ulang taun huhuhu.. soalnya yg taun ini kayaknya the best ever.
the reason are: 1st it's full of surprises, 2nd because i've celebrated it 24hr nonstop, 3rd because i've received a surprise sms yg cukup membuat gue yg udah excited ini menjadi hiperaktif, 4th two of my friends which i haven't been in contact for so long give me a call... i really appreciate the time and efford, considering they both lived outside bne.
ulang taun kali ini berkesan bgt buat gue, soalnya smuanya serba spontan, no plans, org2 cuman dateng ajah ke apt. i had a good time serving them as my guest, and i think my guests had a good time staying at my place (GR.red).
the reason are: 1st it's full of surprises, 2nd because i've celebrated it 24hr nonstop, 3rd because i've received a surprise sms yg cukup membuat gue yg udah excited ini menjadi hiperaktif, 4th two of my friends which i haven't been in contact for so long give me a call... i really appreciate the time and efford, considering they both lived outside bne.
ulang taun kali ini berkesan bgt buat gue, soalnya smuanya serba spontan, no plans, org2 cuman dateng ajah ke apt. i had a good time serving them as my guest, and i think my guests had a good time staying at my place (GR.red).
8.3.05
the dream interpreter
i can't believe it, this is only been week 2 and i already got a migrain. i've got to admit though, tuesday and thursday is the most busiest day of the week. i probably shouldn't try to push my shecdule like i've done... but i thought what i took this semester is important demi kemajuan bangsa dan negara (apa sih?).
well, good news, i talked to miss K and she said, my dreams just simply what's instore in my consious mind.
well, good news, i talked to miss K and she said, my dreams just simply what's instore in my consious mind.
7.3.05
record deals
well, to be honest it got nothing to do with record deals as in signing contract with a record company... it's just the same as any of my other blog entries huhuhu... the titles just there for no reason at all...
i'm so tired today, i got a night class, then i walk home by 8.20, and still got a lot of cleaning to do, plus cooking, yep, i tried to cook my own food this year, despite the taste... i had to save money, what for u asked? i do not now for sure, i might use it for travell. oh yeah, i remembered now, i oughta save for the reunion in HongKong with Meng, Wiki, Athena and hopefully Ton. i know..it's too far for reunion but hey, the person who brought us together is Wiki and she lived in HongKong, so.. i don't really mind actually. and this time it's going to came out from my own wallet. yep, i've oughta be more independent.
i just had another strange dream last night... 1st i was in a dance class, which is so impossible, because koordinasi tangan dan kaki gue kurang bagus, 2nd a man hold me and lift me up which again is so impossible because i'm too heavy even to be push aside. 3rd, that man knows me and i guess we haven't met each other for a long time, judging by the feels of his arms when he hold me, i don't know any guy who had perasaan kangen kayak gitu ke gue (gue gitu lho.red). i guess i needed a dream dictionary after all. i saw one of that once when i was strolling with M in one fine afternoon in the South Jakarta. oh well, as long it's not a nightmare, i wouldn't mind. oh.. and another thing, i can't seem to remember the his face who is my dance partner. i wonder what that means? sometimes i wonder since i can feel what other feel tanpa disengaja... jgn2 sebenarnya ada yg kangen berat ama gue??? hahahahahaha sebaiknya gue secepatnya menyingkirkan perasaan itu, GR BERAT bo' soalnya nggak mungkin bgt!!! ato mungkin jg krn gue sedang sgt merasa kesepian huhuhuhu... so my unconsious mind creates such fantasy. i think i had to have to consult it with miss K.
i'm so tired today, i got a night class, then i walk home by 8.20, and still got a lot of cleaning to do, plus cooking, yep, i tried to cook my own food this year, despite the taste... i had to save money, what for u asked? i do not now for sure, i might use it for travell. oh yeah, i remembered now, i oughta save for the reunion in HongKong with Meng, Wiki, Athena and hopefully Ton. i know..it's too far for reunion but hey, the person who brought us together is Wiki and she lived in HongKong, so.. i don't really mind actually. and this time it's going to came out from my own wallet. yep, i've oughta be more independent.
i just had another strange dream last night... 1st i was in a dance class, which is so impossible, because koordinasi tangan dan kaki gue kurang bagus, 2nd a man hold me and lift me up which again is so impossible because i'm too heavy even to be push aside. 3rd, that man knows me and i guess we haven't met each other for a long time, judging by the feels of his arms when he hold me, i don't know any guy who had perasaan kangen kayak gitu ke gue (gue gitu lho.red). i guess i needed a dream dictionary after all. i saw one of that once when i was strolling with M in one fine afternoon in the South Jakarta. oh well, as long it's not a nightmare, i wouldn't mind. oh.. and another thing, i can't seem to remember the his face who is my dance partner. i wonder what that means? sometimes i wonder since i can feel what other feel tanpa disengaja... jgn2 sebenarnya ada yg kangen berat ama gue??? hahahahahaha sebaiknya gue secepatnya menyingkirkan perasaan itu, GR BERAT bo' soalnya nggak mungkin bgt!!! ato mungkin jg krn gue sedang sgt merasa kesepian huhuhuhu... so my unconsious mind creates such fantasy. i think i had to have to consult it with miss K.
6.3.05
fine sunday afternoon
helo... yep...you guessed it! i'm feeling so happy this moment, why? it wasn't a big deal actualy, i'm just glad he replies my e-mail. soooooo happpy...
i know, i'm over reacted, and he probably just being polite, but hey... i realised that it's really impossible for us to be together. anyway..i just like to enjoyed this moment.
i know, i'm over reacted, and he probably just being polite, but hey... i realised that it's really impossible for us to be together. anyway..i just like to enjoyed this moment.
3.3.05
sikat gigi makuro
i miss makuro, lebi, mary and pippin, dorothy, kentang, betty lou and my other ikan layars and also my 3 molly dori fish. i used to feed them at these hours and then pull out a chair near the small pond and read books for hours until my visions became blured and my neck ached.
how's my 1st week in uni? i say it's okay, as usuall i haven't really thought much about what projects i should take (d'oh.red). i went to a friend's house this afternoon, we had dinner together with his housemates and neighbours. and he asked me why am i so quite? i honestly dunno why am i so quite all of the sudden. i didn't talk as much as i used to, even to the ppl i used to chat with. i dunno if that's a good or a bad thing. i guess now i just like to watch and listen about what ppl have to say about things.
well actually there is one thing that worries me, JOB. i'm so affraid will become unemployee after i graduate. well, to tell you the truth, i could get a job easly if i want to based on relation and connection. the problem is my conscious mind tells me that i owed my uncle so much, that i don't want to ask him a favour to help me get a job. my parents were quite disappointed with my decission of not accepting his job offer. i just thought that i should try to make on my own this time, be more independent.
oh thing just strike my head, i always wanted to travell, lived in other continents beside asia pasificand africa, but i don't think i can. i think i better stay in the country. a lot of things that i'm being responsible of.
how's my 1st week in uni? i say it's okay, as usuall i haven't really thought much about what projects i should take (d'oh.red). i went to a friend's house this afternoon, we had dinner together with his housemates and neighbours. and he asked me why am i so quite? i honestly dunno why am i so quite all of the sudden. i didn't talk as much as i used to, even to the ppl i used to chat with. i dunno if that's a good or a bad thing. i guess now i just like to watch and listen about what ppl have to say about things.
well actually there is one thing that worries me, JOB. i'm so affraid will become unemployee after i graduate. well, to tell you the truth, i could get a job easly if i want to based on relation and connection. the problem is my conscious mind tells me that i owed my uncle so much, that i don't want to ask him a favour to help me get a job. my parents were quite disappointed with my decission of not accepting his job offer. i just thought that i should try to make on my own this time, be more independent.
oh thing just strike my head, i always wanted to travell, lived in other continents beside asia pasificand africa, but i don't think i can. i think i better stay in the country. a lot of things that i'm being responsible of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)