while you're somber

what's it like being in love? i seldom asked that to my friends, nobody knew the answer for sure... then how should i know if i'm in love? was it when i can't sleep at night? was it when the only person i could think of is him? was it when ... i suddenly lost my appetite when the slightest idea of him occuring in my mind? was it when i felt a thousands tiny butterflies in my stomach appears everytime i get flatered by him? was it when he suddenly appears in all my dreams? or was it when i know for sure that whenever i'm in trouble i can always count on him to bail me out?

well, someone did suddenly appeared in my dream a couple of days ago... someone i haven't seen in almost 6yrs, someone i hardly spoke to, is this mean... but a different person never really left my mind, i really do admired him, is this mean...

to be honest i've always avoided talking about love and relationship, feel a bit uncomfortable really... a bit sarcastic becuse mind never turns out well. dunno what drives me to start this blog with those silly ?'s on love...

ouww...another thing i wanted to tell you was that i had a pretty embarassing moment a couple of days ago, my mom had told my aunt that i'm planning to lived in jakarta instead. and she said,' what made val changed her mind? was it...-censored-...?' and she did text me to make sure she's right... and yes, my dearest auntie, you are right. how did she know? how did she sensed it? i never told that particular reason to anyone, not even to my best friends. was it too obvious? i hope not... i was so embarassed because i was always the underdog amongst my cousins, no one in the big family ever knew my plans, and now my secret plan was revealed...

anger management

i'm counting the days of leaving bne. i'm sad but at the same time i'm happy. sad, because i have to leave the things that has been my life for the past 3 years. sad to leave all of this convinience. sad to leave the 'freedom' and the sence of independence. but i'm also happy to leave too, for so many reasons that i couldn't tell you. i'm happy to leave bne because i am a 'nomad' (translation: people who likes to moves around-according to mia.red). oh and i thing i also happy because leaving bne means i don't have to hear those names that could triger my inner 'fire alarm' (dunno why i get really really pissed of when i heard those names.red) and after a quick discussion with an old friend, she suggested that that i did the right thing by leaving all those stuff behind...

to be honest, once i got really pissed off with someone, i don't want to even hear his/her name, and i don't all the people that are close to me to have any contacts with him/her. (selfish? no, i don't think so. i'm just having trouble with anger management.red)

i'm so sorry this isn't a nice edition of blog... i was pretty happy until someone mention those names that trigger my inner 'fire alarm'. i am angry... so angry...

the return of the idol

no.. it's not about the australian idol nor the the american idol nor whatever country idol...
it's the return of my 'idol'.. yep after so many months all alone without someone i could look up to, i finally found my idol...

well, not finally finally, i know this guy for quite sometime, he used to thought me many things, just by talking to him. then i became busy, we both were and we lose contacts... i'm in bne and he travels through couple of cities in asia. but now thanks to technology, i found a way... hooray... >_<
no.. i'm not attracted to him, it's just that talking to him feed my brain. i'm not a brainiac but i'm a fan of his article about life. he's young and yet he knows so many... (it safes me time to read all those books ahahaha.red)

ouw.. well...