v update

hellow, i finally can get myself together...
this couple of days i had the thoughtest mental test so far... damn, it's so hard to fair... in one hand i wanna be truly, and brutally honest, but on the other hand i gotta be fair as well, which mean there are somethings that are not meant to be said...
huh...

a piece of me

i have just discover something about me. all i need now is to build a new defense mechanism to retain my existence as valcory...

i have always moved away from the crowd just for the sake of experience...
all this time deep in my heart i already knew what was going to happen to me, and thats why i'm so restless all the time, but i can't help it, i need to have that experience...
that's what drives me into doing what i'm doing today... chasing something that i already knew i can't have. so what do you think of me now? stupid, dumb, dodol, bego, bold? maybe all of them, but hey, as i sat down this morning writing my discovery i felt relieve that i've found another 'piece' of me.

mad

i know i can't stay like this forever
i know i gotta put all of this behind me and concentrate on my study
i know i shouldn't give a damn about those guys
but i can't..i can't ....
i wanna moved on but its all too much for me to bear...
i'm only 20 and everyone already pointing fingers at me and treated me like i'm some sort of criminal without wanting to know the reason behind it all

the truth hurts

today was supposed to be a happy day, at least that was my expectations. boy...i was wrong in so many ways. i'm tired because i haven't had a good night sleep. i know i'm rushing all of my assignment just b4 it's due. but i can handle those stuff if i didn't have any emotional burden. i'm sorry readers, this time i can't spill it out, not even with codes.

anyhoo, today i saw a 'predator' with a cute face, a slick, an eel with an innocent face. i wonder if anyone noticed her, or is it just me. what she did in class today, shocked me. i can't really describe my feelings..but yuks....ough... ih.... to be honest it scared the ***** out of me. i gotta watch my back more carefully now...

and another thing, i finally asked the question i've always wanted to asked for a few weeks. and when i finally did, to be honest, i didn't like the answer. well... then again i got i high expectations. i gotta stop day dreaming... too many dissappointment in one day...