the pulp in the bulb

just like the title today's entry may not be that important to read, so u guys just can passed this one out (tapi sebaiknya sih jangan.red). well, i'm back in brisbane, and finally got online, actually i've arrived a week ago but my nose didn't really compromised (a.k.a pilek berat.red)

i'm excited, i'm sad and i'm scared...so scared to begin this new semester. why? because then again there's always someone telling me that the course i'm taking is the 'hard one'. oh well, i think..u you can't really tell untill you've experience it. oh and one thing i'm also taking the kind of projects that made my average grade low last semester. i just think i gotta keep trying until it's impossible to keep trying.

then again i'm going through an era where the 'kid' in me have to become an 'adult'. yep and it's coming in 2 weeks. whilst most people held a 'grand' celebration of that event, i'm on the contrary can't and didn't even want to think about a celebration of such event. i just don't think it's the right moment for me to be celebrating. some of my closest friend argue that because i still read Lemony Snicket and refuses to grow up. well, if any of you ever heard that rumor, please ignore it, becuase it's not true.

me, myself and the past

yep, i once made a promise to myself than i would find out about my 'roots'. well, i didn't do any research, the research came to me. my grandad gave me a very old, very hard-to-read document the other day. it was written in my mother tounge language, which i hardly understand, anyway as i skimmed through the document i recognise my grandad's name, it is on some sort of diagram. as i expected, it's a family tree, yep. know that i know who's my great2 great2 (i think it's overeacting.red) grandfather, i begin to understand why my grandad always expected the very best of me, especially in terms of 'manners'. my great great grandfather was in my history book when i was in elementary school.

i actually had wrote an entry on last tuesday, but something happened online, it made me really sad so i had to disconnect.
valentine's coming, and again i don't have 'anyone special' to share with. i can't really complaint after what i've witness today. my family had lunch with my mom's old friend from borneo. she's with her daugthers, the 1st one's still single, but the 2nd already married (she's about the same age as i am). sekilas sih pasangan ini tampak bahagia, in my mind they must've been really2 in love. but when the husband have a bit of chat with my dad, i don't really like him one bit. he's underestimating my dad. my sis think, maybe it's because the ITB factor, the husband is an ITB student. well, to be honest, in my mind, how could you be happy with someone like that? but hey, it's none of my bussiness. anyway, back to me and the 'bf' prob, i think i had to be more carefull with whom i 'fall in'.

oh yeah, another silly thought has crossed my mine for a couple of days...what if 'he' (RHS.red) is the 'one' for me, but i've just pushed him away? but it can't be? can it? after all 'he' have never 'fall' for me....
i guess seing too much pink everywhere u go can make ur mind sounds crazy huhu....