26.7.04
mixed feeling
1st day of school: as usuall, i was shock (i think i'm always shock) when they handed in the course hand book. on the other hand i'm also happy because i move on to the next level....
13.7.04
"from the moment i saw u, i knew i can count on u"
beberapa hari ini, semenjak kepergian Taew gue emang agak sendu, gue bener2 ngerasa kesepian. kesepian karena sekarang gue ngerasa gue nggak punya role model lagi, seseorang yg lebih dewasa, seorg teman yg blod enough buat ngasih tau gue mana yg benar dan mana yg salah. seorg teman yg nggak sekedar pointing finger at me kalo gue salah, tapi dia juga ngasih tau gue bagaimana cara memperbaikinya. she's only been gone for a week and i miss her already hiks... and the saddest part is gue nggak tau kapan kita bisa ketemu lagi. Taew balik ke Bangkok for good, sedangkan gue masih punya 1.5 th lagi di bne, mungkin juga lebih lama dari itu.
kalo dipikir2 agak aneh, waktu itu gue blom kenal Taew, cuman gue sering liat di bus, setiap kali gue ngeliat dia, i have this strange feeling that i can trust her and we're gonna be close. ternyata bener, she's been like a big sister to me. u can call me strange, tapi gue bisa tau mana org yg bakal cocok ama gue dan mana yg nggak, just by looking at them. i don't believe myself at first, i used to say to myself whenever i got this strange feeling when i met someone, 'don't judge book by its cover'. and i used to ignored that strange feeling, but it always ended up in disputes. so now that i'm older and wiser i'm not gonna ignored those strange feeling again.
and all this time the feeling that u're gonna just 'click' with someone hanya datang dari diri gue ajah. gue nggak nyangka someone actually get that feeling when he 1st saw me. terus terang gue seneng, i'm overwhelm with what he said. don't get me wrong, gue nggak mendua. mungkin krn gue merasa kehilangan krn kepergian Taew dan 'peristiwa itu' yg dng secara tidak sengaja gue membaca sebuah article yg makin membuat gue merasa sendirian di bne, jadi kata2 diatas itu kayaknya berarti bgt buat gue. it kinda boost my confidence, krn setelah 'peristiwa itu' gue merasa i had a bad personality, but i'm wrong i'm not bad, neither does that person i'm having a dispute with. the explaination is simple: we just didn't 'click'.
kalo dipikir2 agak aneh, waktu itu gue blom kenal Taew, cuman gue sering liat di bus, setiap kali gue ngeliat dia, i have this strange feeling that i can trust her and we're gonna be close. ternyata bener, she's been like a big sister to me. u can call me strange, tapi gue bisa tau mana org yg bakal cocok ama gue dan mana yg nggak, just by looking at them. i don't believe myself at first, i used to say to myself whenever i got this strange feeling when i met someone, 'don't judge book by its cover'. and i used to ignored that strange feeling, but it always ended up in disputes. so now that i'm older and wiser i'm not gonna ignored those strange feeling again.
and all this time the feeling that u're gonna just 'click' with someone hanya datang dari diri gue ajah. gue nggak nyangka someone actually get that feeling when he 1st saw me. terus terang gue seneng, i'm overwhelm with what he said. don't get me wrong, gue nggak mendua. mungkin krn gue merasa kehilangan krn kepergian Taew dan 'peristiwa itu' yg dng secara tidak sengaja gue membaca sebuah article yg makin membuat gue merasa sendirian di bne, jadi kata2 diatas itu kayaknya berarti bgt buat gue. it kinda boost my confidence, krn setelah 'peristiwa itu' gue merasa i had a bad personality, but i'm wrong i'm not bad, neither does that person i'm having a dispute with. the explaination is simple: we just didn't 'click'.
10.7.04
iPod, that guy at the dance party and an old friend of mine
now that i don't have any music while i'm walking around, i felt even more alone than i had ever before (hiperbola.red). i'm so used to having my discman whenever i leave home, now i'm gonna have to improvised or get used to no music. i did some window shopping yesterday, and i think i'm falling in love with iPod, that 20GB pearl white iPod. but it's expensive, luckily i found a store that can do a 'lay by' for an iPod, great it last for 3 months, that's ok, better than no music at all, right?
this weekend has been great, nothing to complaint about. i go to a dance party, that was actually very lame, but since i went out with my friends, i had a good time. if u're thinking that because i met a guy there. u're partly wrong. yes i met a guy, but he's my old friend from my old college. we haven't seen and talk to each other for such a long time. it felt a bit weird because some of my friends that went out with me the didn't know about the history between me and him, they sort of saying to me, 'kamu cocok berdua.' i've been hearing a lot of those when we're still hanging out together. it felt weird because, he's less annoying. and despite what ppl said about us, we're just friends, i got my ian, he got his 'girlfriend to be' (masih pdkt, and he won't tell me her name.red).
i was going to write something, but after i thought about it. if i wrote it down, i might hurt someone's feeling, eventhough that is not my intention. the bottom line is, i'm not alone, i still got some friends, eventhough they're miles away.
this weekend has been great, nothing to complaint about. i go to a dance party, that was actually very lame, but since i went out with my friends, i had a good time. if u're thinking that because i met a guy there. u're partly wrong. yes i met a guy, but he's my old friend from my old college. we haven't seen and talk to each other for such a long time. it felt a bit weird because some of my friends that went out with me the didn't know about the history between me and him, they sort of saying to me, 'kamu cocok berdua.' i've been hearing a lot of those when we're still hanging out together. it felt weird because, he's less annoying. and despite what ppl said about us, we're just friends, i got my ian, he got his 'girlfriend to be' (masih pdkt, and he won't tell me her name.red).
i was going to write something, but after i thought about it. if i wrote it down, i might hurt someone's feeling, eventhough that is not my intention. the bottom line is, i'm not alone, i still got some friends, eventhough they're miles away.
8.7.04
pass
finally my grades are up on the web >_<, i survive the my 1st semester in uni. my grades are not exactly the grades everyone would've want to but i'm happy (hey, afterall i got no achievement motivation). u can call me crazy, i don't care. i'm happy just the way my grades are. (to maxi, maybe u're right about me being a bit 'P' hahaha). i believe that there are more things in life than just ur grades in uni. (what a lame excuse.red)
i haven't done anything lately. my mind was occupied by the idea of 'Tuhan ingin kita mempunyai pasangan hidup yang sepadan dan seimbang.' hmm... it certainly need a lot of thinking....
i haven't done anything lately. my mind was occupied by the idea of 'Tuhan ingin kita mempunyai pasangan hidup yang sepadan dan seimbang.' hmm... it certainly need a lot of thinking....
5.7.04
grateful
saturday
i was still sad last saturday, but my mom called, she said that i gotta distract my mind by cleaning up my apt. well, it works. after that it's bubble bath time. senang sekali akhirnya bisa menikmati bubble bath, johnson's babby milk bath, baunya enak bgt, udah gitu sambil dengerin maroon 5. i feel like all my troubles are gone begitu denger track 8, Sunday Morning. lyricnya simple tapi gue sukaaa bgt....
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you
And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow?
dan seperti biasa my mind lsg wondering kesana kemari, trying to imagine, what if that happens to me, trying to imagine that i'm the girl on that lyric hehehehe >_<
monday
i was still half asleep when i know that greece had won. there's a greek club near my apt, and usually everytimes greece won greek ppl would honk in the traffic light infront of my apt. so i don't have to watch it in the telly.
i went to taew's house today, and i'm sad again. she's going back to bangkok this friday. to be honest i don't want her to leave, she's been like a big sister to me. i can talk to her about anything, i just couldn't imagine myself not being able to talk to her again. suddenly i felt so alone, i got no place to go, no place utk ngadu. sedih sekali rasanya, khususnya setelah peristiwa itu, dimana gue akhirnya menyadari bahwa sebenarnya gue bukan org yg easy to get along with, dan sekarang temanku hrs pergi meninggalkan ku sendiri.
i didn't thought i would be this sad, i thought shrek can distract my mind, so i went on the citycat and get off at southbank. the funny thing is whenever i'm travelling by myself, there's always someone yg ngajak ngobrol, a stranger. today di citycat i met an indonesian man, he's on a government scholarship, he's been living on a tight bugdet (to be honest, keadaan dia itu completely my opposite). i could say he practically got nothing, but he's happy. he's constantly saying how lucky he is and he's so grateful that GOD had give all this to him. to be honest i was puzzled at first, i just couldn't understand. and i'm a shame of myself, i just broke my discman and i was swearing like hell. i got everything i need, and still i want more (but not i terms of material, what i have in mind is a person) someone that i could talk to, that would accept me the way i am, someone i could relate to. but i do realise that i'm asking too much, i do realise that it got to start from me 1st. i should be grateful with what i have right now.
i was still sad last saturday, but my mom called, she said that i gotta distract my mind by cleaning up my apt. well, it works. after that it's bubble bath time. senang sekali akhirnya bisa menikmati bubble bath, johnson's babby milk bath, baunya enak bgt, udah gitu sambil dengerin maroon 5. i feel like all my troubles are gone begitu denger track 8, Sunday Morning. lyricnya simple tapi gue sukaaa bgt....
Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would bring me back to you
That someday it would bring me back to you
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing someday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself home to you
And you may not know
That may be all I need
In darkness she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow?
dan seperti biasa my mind lsg wondering kesana kemari, trying to imagine, what if that happens to me, trying to imagine that i'm the girl on that lyric hehehehe >_<
monday
i was still half asleep when i know that greece had won. there's a greek club near my apt, and usually everytimes greece won greek ppl would honk in the traffic light infront of my apt. so i don't have to watch it in the telly.
i went to taew's house today, and i'm sad again. she's going back to bangkok this friday. to be honest i don't want her to leave, she's been like a big sister to me. i can talk to her about anything, i just couldn't imagine myself not being able to talk to her again. suddenly i felt so alone, i got no place to go, no place utk ngadu. sedih sekali rasanya, khususnya setelah peristiwa itu, dimana gue akhirnya menyadari bahwa sebenarnya gue bukan org yg easy to get along with, dan sekarang temanku hrs pergi meninggalkan ku sendiri.
i didn't thought i would be this sad, i thought shrek can distract my mind, so i went on the citycat and get off at southbank. the funny thing is whenever i'm travelling by myself, there's always someone yg ngajak ngobrol, a stranger. today di citycat i met an indonesian man, he's on a government scholarship, he's been living on a tight bugdet (to be honest, keadaan dia itu completely my opposite). i could say he practically got nothing, but he's happy. he's constantly saying how lucky he is and he's so grateful that GOD had give all this to him. to be honest i was puzzled at first, i just couldn't understand. and i'm a shame of myself, i just broke my discman and i was swearing like hell. i got everything i need, and still i want more (but not i terms of material, what i have in mind is a person) someone that i could talk to, that would accept me the way i am, someone i could relate to. but i do realise that i'm asking too much, i do realise that it got to start from me 1st. i should be grateful with what i have right now.
2.7.04
life's a wheel, i heard it so many times, but it never really sink in my brain. well, not until this very moment. as i listen to Alicia Keys CD whilst still trying to figured out what's missing in my life i kinda realise that i've got everything i need. i got a loving family, i still got some friends (although its not many), i got bf that i still need to get to know of, i got a couple of my childhood dreams that already came true. and came to think of it, this time of the year 2 years ago i was so devastated, and now i feel like i'm okay, i'm enjoying life.
me 1st and the gimmies gimmies
i'm not sure if i spell that correctly, it's a band, and got nothing to do with my today's entry. the week i've been waiting for for the last 2 months finally came and go. i've waited for so long, i even thought those days will never came, and when those days finally came, it went on so fast.
these last week i've been very busy, busy with myself, busy trying to make myself happy, but it seems all that i've got right now didn't satisfy me. something's missing in my life, and i don't know what it is?
these last week i've been very busy, busy with myself, busy trying to make myself happy, but it seems all that i've got right now didn't satisfy me. something's missing in my life, and i don't know what it is?
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