i'm in the mood of symbolism right now... (i guess if mr.doug ever read this piece, he would probably says,'isn't it a little too late for that?' or probably, 'i think it's about time, valcory.') huahahahahaha... anyway first symbolism in short sort of miserable life (just kidding.red) is i've noticed since i lost who i thougt was my 'bestbud', in most time whenever i'm late and alone in the bus stop, there's always an middle aged man or sometimes a middle ages woman whose opened up a convers with me. for me this symbolize that God is looking after me in every step i take, in every move i make (sounds familiar? i took it from i'll be missing u, hahahahaha.red).
the other thing i wanted to mentioned in this blog is karma... i never trully believe in karma, it never sink in my heart. i never do or try to hurt some1 simply because i know what's it like getting hurt, not because someday it'll come back to me. but recently i noticed whenever i got a huge prob, that made me 'bombay' for a couple of days, usually i always get a huge 'rejeki' as well. weird huh?
of for those of u who read this i wanna appologise in advanced if i ever in the future hurt ur feelings with my so called famous sudden mood change. i dunno how to control it, it might have been seen as if i didn't try hard enough but believe me i'm doing all the best i could (i've lost my 'bestbud' because of this, and i'm surely don't wanna loose any in the future, so believe me i'm trying hard.red). anyway about the sudden mood change, it happened again today. i was supposed to go to this dance party with some friends, but i cancelled in the last minutes, because i dunno what happened to me today, i was quite happy when i woke up this morning, i was still happy when i prepared my 'ayam kalasan' lunch, tapi tiba2 nggak ada petir nggak ada badai, i cried the whole afternoon, just b4 i went to school. luckily my eyes went back to normal state when i arraived at school. i used to have someone near me i could talk to but now, i guess i have to learned to keep it for myself. and just now, i chat with my auntie, my dad's little sister, she said my father is sick, he forced himselpf to go to work today, and a doctor just finished checking my dad at home. i wanna called my mom but i'll probably wait until my tears dry. i know it's unbelieveable, but i'm very much attached to my family. all those tears this afternoon was because of my father is sick. . .