hey, yep feels like running, run run far far away from here...
i was wondering around aimlessly on friday afternoon straight after work, and it felt so good, terutama karena papan SALE bertebaran dimana2, but.. i didn't buy anything except book and mags.
and now i think i know what my kind of a perfect weekend is: wondering around aimlessly in queen st on friday afternoon, wake up late on saturday morning, watch cartoons all day, doing laundry, ironing, church on sunday morning, then go to one of those art market, go back home, buy groceries in the afternoon then doing HM like a crazy horse (what the?)
anyway shopping or at least window shopping really do can help me when i'm sad, stressfull or confuse, so i suggested this therapy to one of my friend, well at least for her she won't be needing a window shopping anyway, cos she got all the money in the world (but this is not my point), anyhu... she then said to me,'itu hanya kebahagian sesaat...'
i was shock, why because the truth is i didn't meant to say that the actuall physical material could make you happy, but the fact that you go out, have some fresh air walking down in queen's really does wonders to my confused little brain.
well, i guess i didn't explain it very well to her then... -_-
and after much consideration i think it's gonna be hard for me to leave bne, i have to admit, i don't think it's my time to leave, but i can't see any other way that can make me stay longer in bne. on the other hand... i don't wanna be part from my family too long... they are the only thing i got left in this world, the only thing that matter the most to me... the only ones who were there for me when i'm down, the only ones that can lift my spirit up and running again...
ouw.. i also got this advise from someone.. for me it's a bit strange:
i was telling this person about my strangest thoughts (dunno why i always feel safe to share all of my wacky, strange, abnormal, overreacted thoughts with this person), the one thoughts that have always make me feel a bit uncomfortable, anyhu.. this person only said like this, ' the thing you want the most in this whole wide world won't be given to you because you have another job, your work is not finish yet... it will interfere with your work if He gave it to you now. when will you have it then? well, i think until you can help those who need your help and friendship, and until they can stand on their own feet, that is when you'll find what you've want the most in the whole wide world...' and a drop of rain fell in my cheek ...
' i'm sorry val, i don't know why i said that... but i think that's your road...'
smoga saja gue bisa jalanin smua ini... and this person also said...'kalo ngasih wangsit ke org yg bener... waktu itu loe ngaco ngasih wangsit ke gue, tega loe val, gue laporin nyokap loe... oh iya, skali lagi maap ya atas my brutal honesty, sebelum tidur dengerin lagunya marcell duls trus nanggis yg puas krn esok hari you gotta face the world with a big smile in your face...>_< gue percaya loe pasti bisa ngejalanin semua ini val...'